Oh I do love poking fun. Meet my new favorite MegaChef, Titli Nihaa.
“There’s much more to being a tv megachef than big hair, crap jewelry and too much lipstick.”
And if you don’t already, you should read Food Network Humor.
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Through June 30, 2010, for every pound you pledge to lose, the Pound for Pound Challenge will donate 14¢ to Feeding America – enough to deliver one pound of groceries to a local food bank.
Ugh. Weight loss. It’s a pain in everyone’s side. But most of us have a few extra pounds hanging around. I know I do. I can tell you exaclty where they came from too. Easter candy. As soon as Lent was over I ate all that candy like it was going to run away from me if I didnt. Who’s with me? I pledged 7 pounds, that’s what I’ve gained since the wedding. I doubt I’ll make it by the end of this month, but it’s a good start.
I’ve got a giftcard to Kroger to help you out. I know my local Kroger is one snazzy place. It’s where I go to get all the things I need for my special diet (no lactose please!). They seriously have the best selection of organic and natural products close to me. Sure I’m Central Market whore, but that’s far away and only for special occasions.
Giveaway:
One (1) winner will receive a $30 Kroger Gift Card that can be used at any Kroger Family Store.
How to Enter: ***CONTEST CLOSED***
Simply visit the Pound for Pound Challenge site and make a pledge and come back here and let me know. Easy peasy!
This giveaway will end on June 11th at 10:00 PM CST. Winner will be chosen via a random number generator. Giveaway is open to US entries. The winner must contact me in 48 hours to claim their prize. Good luck to everyone!
For legal reasons, I have to let you all know that the giftcard, information and giveaway have all been provided by the Kroger Family of Stores and General Mills through MyBlogSpark.
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Haha, yes I am alive. Someday I promise I’ll finish the wedding posts, but for now here are links to some of my favorite reactions to the release of Apple’s iPad:
Don’t Have Money for a Real iPad? Cut One Out of Paper
Hitler Responds to the Apple iPad
The Brads – Test How Your Site Looks on the iPad
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My brother gave the most amazing toast/roast during our reception. I managed to get a copy of his words and I am going to use pictures captured during his speech and some commentary provided by me in [brackets] to try and recreate this moment.
[My brother comes walking into the room wearing this ridiculous florescent ski jacket of my father's that we always gave him the hardest time about wearing because it is so ridiculous!]
Man is it just me, or is it hot in here?
[He then proceeds to unzip the jacket to reveal that he is wearing a Boy Scout uniform shirt underneath it... you'll understand more about that as you read.]
Ladies and gentlemen, may I please have your attention. Please rise for the presentation of our colors.
[Then the doors in the back of the room open to reveal this tall stick thing surrounded by a bunch of boys.]
Color guard, advance.
[And cue the water works.]
Color guard, halt.
[The color guard is made up of three of my dearest friends, all of whom are Eagle Scouts and are part of the reason for my love of Scouts and all things related.]
Please raise your right hand in our sign for the evening and repeat after me:
[The "sign for the evening" was to make a "W" with your fingers. It's also a gang sign, if you're in to that sort of thing.]
Color guard, post the colors.
[They thought they could just walk away without getting a hug. I told them otherwise.]
[The tall one I'm hugging in the picture below--- that's my High School Sweet Heart.]
Thanks and you may be seated.
When I was asked to do this roast tonight, the first thought that came to my mind about my sister was during my time as a Boy Scout. Let’s just say my sister had a thing for men in uniform… There is nothing sexier than a bunch of prepubescent boys in their khaki shirts with all their fancy badges, short green shorts and knee high green socks… so Adam, you will always have some competition, but I know she would much rather be with you than anyone else… I mean, as I understand it, you were too pretty to be a boy while growing up, and even cuter when Sarah Jane and Katie [his cousins] made you look like the tin man with the make-up in Amber’s [his sister] kaboodle. [When they were growing up, Adam's cousins decided it would be fun to put make-up on him.]
If you have met my sister in the last few years, you have come to know her as Kate, but if you have known her for a while she was first Katy to you… Katy just wasn’t suitable for a young college girl trying to make a name for herself. As we were growing up our mom used to tell Katy that she should go by Kate because it was such a cute name and really fit her personality. [She did!] Her response was always very dramatic, “I’m a Katy, not a Kate!!” and now look what has happened… just like a typical girl, she can’t make up her mind. Look out Adam, before you know it she’ll probably be going by Katharine. Kate and I have always had nicknames for each other… some always weren’t that nice, but most of the time they were pretty funny. Lately she has been calling me LB or lil’ brudder [taken from the Strongbad sketch] I was going to call her Big Sista… but just something about the short version didn’t sit right. So I have been calling her Katy T, but I guess I will have to come up with a new one now, because she is no longer a T.
What is that? I’m sorry, this just in: the bride has lost her glasses and can’t see anymore. Hold on, I’ve got a picture of what they look like so you all can help her find them.
[When we were younger, circa 1993-4, I had these huge glasses. What? They were fashionable then. David and I went up to visit out grandparents one summer and they decided to have a picture taken of their 3 grandkids at one of those in-the-walmart type shops. They also had sweatshirts made up for our parents that say "Double Trouble." I was round, my hair was terrible and I had on those huge glasses. I hate those sweatshirts. My dad still likes to wear his. In the picture below, I'm trying to stop David from taking off his Scout shirt while Adam holds me back. This is one of my favorite pictures from the wedding.]
I have spent a lot of time in College Station over the past several years, and always wondered why the clock in the clock tower never seemed to be running right. Then I met Adam and found out he liked to disassemble clocks as a kid and put them back together and it all made sense. [Adam graduated from Texas A&M which is located in College Station] Obviously he decided he needed to tackle a bigger project than a household clock. So take this as a warning… everybody keep an eye on your watch tonight.
Kate, Anita has asked me to inform you that you might want to keep your dish washing soap far away from your laundry detergent or Adam just might use that to wash the dishes. Apparently, Dawn likes to bubble over and seep out of the dishwasher. [Adam put Dawn in the dishwasher as a child and there was quite a bubbly mess to clean up.]
Kate and I have always had a pretty close relationship growing up, and we’ve always had a kind of unspoken agreement about the people we date. She has to approve of anyone I date, and I have to approve of anyone she dates… so when Kate called to inform us that she had a new guy for me to meet, I was ready to rundown my mental checklist on him. I was pleasantly surprised when Adam showed up. He was definitely her type… tall and skinny. [See the High School Sweet Heart mentioned above...] Then as I got to know Adam myself and learned more about him from my sister, I knew he would be a great guy for her. He had the look, he was a nerdy engineer, and he seemed to take really good care of her.
Several months before Kate and Adam got engaged, Kate and I had a long discussion about how Adam had pretty much told her he was going to ask for her hand in marriage and she knew she would say yes. At that point in time I told her that she had my approval as long as she was ready to make that commitment. Well, a couple days after they got engaged, I called my sister up and said, “Kate, I really like Adam, but as your brother it’s my responsibility to ask this… is he the one?” [He really did do this.] Without hesitation, she replied, “Yes, he is everything I have been looking for.” I knew in that instant that she was ready for this day. Adam, take care of my big sister, she’s the only one I’ve got and I am excited to have you as a brother in law.
I love you both, wish you the best of luck in all you do, and may you live happily ever after.
[Like I said, it was an amazing moment. I love my little brother so much. And I have to tell you the story about the flag. Before we left the house for the Rehearsal on Friday night, my brother was getting antsy because a package he'd ordered and paid extra to have arrive early still had not arrived. Thinking it was just some equipment for his business or something like that, I paid no real attention to it, but hoped he would call the company back and get reimbursed for the rush charge. When we got home from the Rehearsal, there was a small box waiting for us on the front porch. Mom had me call him and let him know the box had arrived. Turns out, the flag pictured above was in that box. As soon as he got home, he drove over to his buddy's house to have him screen print the flag with out k+a logo. When I was told this story, it made me feel glad that I was the one who got to tell him the package arrived and it also made me realize just how much my brother loves me. He's such a great kid.]
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It was finally time for the toasts from our honor attendants. First up was the Best Man. That is so like him to type up his notes/speech in his little netbook. He was carrying that thing around wit him all afternoon as we were taking pictures.
Then the Maid of Honor.
In between the speeches, my uncle made a few remarks as well as read a “text message” from one of my other uncles who lives in Alaska and was unable to make the trip for the wedding. I am really glad we asked him to be our emcee for the evening. He did a fantastic job.
We sat at our table and enjoyed every minute of it. Little did we know what we were in for next! Come back tomorrow for what is my favorite memory of the wedding.
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