The Circle of Life.
May 12th, 2005 by Kate
I was laying in bed this morning try to fall asleep and thinking about how weird it was to be back in this house again. It is strange and somewhat heart breaking to realize that this isn’t home any longer. Today I move into my very first apartment. It is a place of my own. It is the next milestone after college on my way to adulthood.
Quote from Garden State that basically sums it all up:
“You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn’t really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
You’ll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it’s just gone. And you can never get it back. It’s like you get homesick for a place that doesn’t exist. I mean it’s like this rite of passage, you know. You won’t have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it’s like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that’s all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place. ”
I grew up in this house. I have memories of drawing on the walls in David’s room, the plastic play house and swing set in the back yard. I have so many memories of this house. I guess I can say that I was lucky enough to live in the same house for most of my life. It is sad leaving it. At least my parents aren’t selling it and moving somewhere else. Yet.
Soon my mother’s ‘nest’ will be empty. I’m staying in Denton over the summer and going even farther away in August. David is going off to school hopefully in July. With us gone, I have no idea what my parents will do to occupy their time. No band contests to attend, no swim meets to watch, no kids yelling at them, very little laundry and only two people to feed. I keep telling mom that she needs to get a dog, but she won’t listen.
It is almost time for me start my own family and go through the motions of raising kids and letting them go. It is strange how the life cycle works: those of us who are fortunate enough are born and raised by our parents and then thrust out into the real world without a safety net. I know I could have taken the safe road, stayed at in Sherman and gone to Austin College, but that is not me. I thrive on adventure, on getting out and exploring new places. My life ever since high school has been about the experience. Staying in Sherman would have made me dull.
Today will be an experience like no other. Leaving Bruce Hall will be bitter sweet. That room has been my home for the past two years and I am rather fond of it. I hope whoever gets it next will love it as I have. Put pretty things on the wall and have good times in there.