Lessons Learned.
Jan 16th, 2007 by Kate
I find myself learning the best lessons about myself in the weirdest of places: the tv. First from a Ryan Reynold’s movie, and then from the MTV series, the Hills.
Just Friends.
The IMDB summary of the movie Just Friends says, “A man comes face-to-face with old high school crush — a woman whose rejection of him turned him into a ferocious womanizer.” The movie starts out with Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds) proclaiming his love to his high school sweetheart and then being humiliated in front of his classmates by her. He runs off to LA and becomes the type of guy that his high school sweet heart fell for– a hot shot asshole music executive in Los Angeles– and consequently, lost sight of who he really was.
Essentially I did what Ryan’s character, Chris Brander did. No, I didn’t try to win back my high school sweetheart and then get my heart broken, quite the opposite in fact: I finally got over him, but that’s a different story and happened a while ago.
After I brokeup with Justin, I was a mess. I took time this past summer to try to get back to who I was before Justin broke me, but I overshot it by a mile or two. This is how I relate to the movie. I totally went on a power trip this summer and became an emotionless void. I was the asshole hot shot so absorbed in my success that I didn’t care. I dated left and right, not really interested in anyone or looking for anything. I do not regret my serial dating, I learned a lot about who I am and what I want in a mate, but I do regret breaking so many hearts. I told them upfront what the deal was, but I guess they didn’t really believe me. I hate it when that happens!
But fate, or a stupid blonde putting tinfoil in a microwave, had something else in mind, and Chris Bander ends up in his home town in New Jersey and himself face to face with his high school sweetheart. He puts on his asshole front, thinking that’s what she wants when really it was the Chris she knew in high school she fell in love with. It’s the Kate from before Justin that people know and love. It’s who I really am. And I think I can pinpoint what broke my spell and made me want to be a better person again. It wasn’t obvious at first, but it just clicked and a comfortable calm came over me.
So what I learned from his movie is that who I am, not what I am, is a factor in my success. I don’t have to be an emotionless void like Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada to be incredibly successful, I just have to be me. Thankfully I was able to figure this out before I got too out of control, and I seriously think that I am almost back to being whole again. I managed to learn this before I saw the movie, it just served to reinforce the message and make sense of what I went through. I guess I should’ve watched it sooner but I don’t think I would’ve gotten the same thing out of it.
The Hills.
One of my guiltiest pleasures is watching MTV’s The Hills, a spin off of their series Laguna Beach. My friends live vicariously through me; I live vicariously through those girls. I’m very aware that it’s a reality show featuring the lives of some of our county’s most spoiled youth, but I have my shallow moments and just love it!
I just happened to catch the season premier last night, an episode titled “Out with the Old…” It opened with Lauren dropping off her ex boyfriend’s belongings at his place. He thinks that they can still be friends, but she argues that it won’t be the same and they can’t be “normal” friends due to their history. He was her best friend. It’s amazing how quickily a bond like that can build.
Lauren’s biggest mistake at the end of last season was not taking the Teen Vogue internship in Paris to spend the summer at a beach house with Jason, her ex. Upon returning to Teen Vogue, her boss, Lisa Love, called Lauren and the other intern into her office to discuss the summer. To Lauren, she said “Lauren didn’t go to Paris. Lauren will always be known as the girl that didn’t go to Paris.” Harsh, but perfect. I wouldn’t have given up the opportunity to intern in Paris for a boyfriend. If it was true love and meant to be, he’d be there when I got back. In fact, he’d see the opportunity for what it was an encourage me to go.
After an awful first day back at Teen Vogue, having more salt rubbed in the proverbial wound of her heart break and poor decision making, Heidi comforts Lauren as she cries. Lauren broke up with Jason because she was so tired of crying but in the process she lost her best friend. I loved what Heidi said to Lauren- “the best part of Jason was you.” It definitely struck a chord. The best part of that relationship was me. It shouldn’t be that way, we should compliment each other.
Essentially, I had a heart to heart with myself during the commerical breaks and I came to the conclusion that my heart is still very vulnerable even though I put up a pretty condfident front. I am scared to death of letting this one in because for the first time I have no idea what is going on upstairs. I don’t want my heart broken again. It’s been 4 years since I’ve felt this content, I just don’t want to get hurt. I am very aware that the more I know about myself the better off I’ll be. I will make smarter decisions. It just amazes me that these messages are hidden in episodes of a reality tv and a stupid movie.